I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
