There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize