We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
