Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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