Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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