wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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