It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I understand Curling. That high.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
