I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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