so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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