honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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