Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
