I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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