I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
