K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
