i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
