Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
