dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
