I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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