omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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