i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
