cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
