i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
