The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
