kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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