I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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