Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
