we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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