So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
