you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize