I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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