when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
