Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
