I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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