A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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