I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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