You're so nebulous sometimes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
