In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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