office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
