Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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