I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
