don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
