yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
