I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
