I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I love you. Go after that dick
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize