it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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