oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
