No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
