Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
