Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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