i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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