So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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